anything contained in, assumed to be implied by, warranted by, or vaguely alluded to on this website, or any other website resembling this website in any way, shall not be held liable, attributed to, blamed upon, or otherwise associated with this website, any alleged author, and those acting with his authority and permission or without permission, or anyone who sends us email, or their enemies, or acquaintances, or the united states government, or any other government or organization of any city, county, state, province, country, or planet, nor shall any of the aforementioned parties be held liable, responsible, accountable, or in any way involved with the aforementioned website or the presence or absence thereof. company officials were unable to be reached for comment;
this website and it’s ideas and writings do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, parent corporation, subsidiaries, my friends, or legal representatives and assigns; don’t quote me on that; all rights reserved;
subject to change without notice; slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; objects may be closer than they appear;
hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; accept no substitutes; for a limited time only; this offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; provided “as is” without any warranties expressed or implied;
user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity employer; no shoes, no shirt, no service; quantities are limited; while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; warranty void if opened; no serviceable parts inside;
caveat emptor; enter at your own risk; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included;
action figures sold separately; read and follow all label directions; no preservatives added; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken;
for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use; if you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours, seek medical help right away; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source;
pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure; discontinue use if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating in the genitals, or heart palpitations; failure to do so relieves the makers of any and all liability;
these statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration. this website is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
professional driver on a closed course. do not attempt. always drive responsibly. please drink responsibly. do not drink and drive. play responsibly.
smoking may be hazardous to your health; no animals were used or harmed during testing or creation of this product; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a specialist;
slippery when wet; must be 18 years or older to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating dealers; slightly higher west of the rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery;
disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other acts of god, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item;
other restrictions may apply; only at participating stores; get one today; buy one, get one free; free item must be of lesser value; price does not include applicable taxes; taxes do not include applicable conscience;
photos are representational only, and are not the real thing; transportation not included; in case of a tie, the winner may be asked to eat it; maximum achievable level of fun is unknown and may vary from person to person; not valid in the state of confusion; not responsible for errors in judgment; your rights may vary from state to state; no gifts, please;
life is hazardous to your health; trauma, injury and death have occurred in all known instances of life; expect that as a living being you will experience trauma, injury, and even death. however, stupidity will accelerate and intensify this effect. try not to be stupid.